Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 19 September 2011

image for David Starkey Misses Out As Controversial Academic Accepts Top Job
Some history happening.

TV historian David Starkey was put out of his misery earlier today when controversial colleague Ken Lucid accepted a new job at Hounslow University.

The academic community has been waiting with bated breath since earlier this summer when the authorities at Hounslow offered Lucid, head of history at Maidenhead University, the new Herodotus Chair of History.

It had been expected that the chair would be offered to Starkey, but sources close to the University board suggest that Lucid's new high profile had made him very attractive. The professor has come to public notice with his controversial comments on the education system and history reviews on news website, TheSpoof.

Prof Lucid said this morning: "I've had a chance to think about this very flattering offer and talk it over with the Empress while we were holiday.

"I have to say it's the chance of a lifetime. It's near my work with the EIF News & Features people and top people's watering hole, The Tabard, in Chiswick.

"To my old colleagues at Maidenhead, I'd just like to say... so long, suckers! No - just kidding. Good luck boys and girls - it's been fun. To my mate Dave Starkey... well, he'll be all right. He's got his telly stuff."

We tried to contact Dr Starkey for a comment, but we've lost his phone number.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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