Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 15 September 2011

image for Nicola Blackwood's pert breasts eclipse David Cameron at PMQs
Ce n'est pas l'amour, c'est la guerre!

London - A hideously expensive plunging black top showcased Nicola Blackwood's rounded, bronzed pair, ever-so-slightly concealed by tousled peroxide locks.

"Is she shagging him or Osborne?" was Members' most FAQ today after the surprise bosomy performance during Wednesday's televised debate.

The Oxford West and Abingdon MP had mysteriously positioned herself directly behind David Cameron during live PMQs - as if throwing down some imaginary gauntlet at the poor sod in charge of the BBC Outside Broadcast.

Six terse exchanges between the PM and Ed Miliband saw the cameras focus on Blackwood's breasts on their Parliamentary Autumn Session 2011 debut.

"Don't blame the poor sod behind the zoom lens," one of Blackwood's House of Commons Home Affairs Committee colleagues commented.

"Ce n'est pas l'amour, c'est la guerre!"

Just how true that remark may be depends, of course, on Samantha Cameron's trusty personal sources - specialists in the no-man's-land between Blackwood's constituency and neighboring Witney which David Cameron himself represents.

Some boundary blurrings are bound to occur, as yesterday's breasty spillage onto lunchtime TV coverage confirmed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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