Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 15 September 2011

image for Google Street View - "Just A Big Con Trick" Says Local Man, Martin Shuttlecock
Look, That's Me - But I Can't Be There Because I'm Here!

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today immersed himself in the ongoing string of rows about Google's Street View facility, describing it as 'just a big con.'

Street View has attracted criticism for allegedly providing detailed up and coming crime blueprints and getaway routes for housebreakers, armed robbers and street robbers. A string of accusations alleging violation of privacy followed, after various incidents involving celebrities of varying magnitude being snapped by the Google Street View camera cars, doing things they shouldn't, or being in one place when they should have been somewhere entirely different..

Further complaints followed, alleging that Google had illegally taken data from computer users, as their cars prowled the streets, avenues, and alleyways of Britain.

Shuttlecock's complaint, coming at a time when most people had forgotten about the controversy, has been likened to poking a stick in a hornet's nest.

"It's all a con," Shuttlecock said, speaking from his front room. "Whenever I look at it, it's always broad daylight, but when I open the blinds up, it's dark outside. You can tell it isn't live. Also, when the wife's out at work, the car's always parked outside when I look on Street View. Even though it isn't. I decided to test it out yesterday by popping out of the front door and waving, but when I came back indoors, I couldn't see myself. I don't know how they do it, but it's still a con. I've lost count of the number of times I've checked Street View to check if the off license is open at two in the morning, then gone up there only to find the shutters drawn. If you ask me, these people should be stopped. They're just messing about with people's heads."

"Oh just ignore him," long suffering wife, Anne told reporters. "He's just a daft bastard. I only married the pillock because I felt sorry for him."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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