Written by Deafo
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Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Several gang-leaders responsible for co-ordinating riots across the UK have confirmed they are considering creating their own privately run prisons to ensure the best possible training for gang members prior to their release.

ManDem gang leader Rufus Pout said he and his counterparts were anxious upon hearing that the prisons were nearing capacity meaning the fast track social alienation fundamental to becoming a successful gang member was significantly slowed.

Mr Pout told reporters, 'You know, like, all these prisons, yeah, there filling up, yeah, so that means, like, we got to look at other ways, yeah, of training up the kind of boys yeah, that i can exploit when they come back to the streets, right.'

'You know, these boys come out proper desperate, yeah, proper hating any kind of authority yeah, because they just feel that they have no hope, right, and sending them to prison, yeah, just re-emphasises that, like.'

'So, what me and my boys are gonna do, yeah, is build our own private prisons yeah, where we can take all the extra prisoners right, like the boys sent down for 4 years for wiritng the word 'riot' in the profile update yeah, and proper alienate them even more before returning them to the streets, yeah.'

'Its perfect innit, y'all?'

Social Commentator, Darkus Howe, said he had reservations about sending anyone to prison, no matter what the crime.

'Sending people, especially black one's, to prison is a crime against society.'

'You should do a long stretch for it.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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