Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Transfer deadline sensation: Scousers attempt to bring the prodigal son home; Rooney!
Sensational offer from Liverpool for Rooney; Sir Alex told them to f++k off in his best Glaswegian!

Liverpool's manager, Kenny "the Scot" Dalglish, has made an audacious bid to bring Liverpool's prodigal son back home by offering Man Utd everything they have!

In the offer was the Anfield stadium, 100 million quid, the freedom of Liverpool for Sir Alex, rights to several Beatles songs including Yesterday and Gerry's "You'll never walk alone" (yawn, yawn, boring) their national anthem. They also vowed to send misfits Andy Carroll and Joe Cole back to where they came from for £1.50 each.

Also they have offered Rooney the chance to pick the Liverpool team every week together with Dalglish, organise the training and have as many "beauties of the night" as he wants all paid for on his expenses.

Liverpool are desperate to join Man U at the top, but realise with their present crop of players they might just hack into the Europa League next year. With Rooney they think they will win the Champions league again, rule Europe as in bygone days and sell millions of shirts in Asia just like Man U do.

Sir Alex gave the following reaction:

"The only f+++++g time I go to Liverpool is when we play them or Everton, and that's bad enough so stuff their offer; also they can make Rooney mayor of Liverpool and he still wouldn't go there, he's a true blue, why don't they try to buy Messi!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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