Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has been sensationally dismissed from his position after the club's humiliating 8-2 defeat at the hands of Premier League rivals Manchester United yesterday.
Wenger has been at the helm for almost 15 years, during which he has developed a system for skilfully avoiding seeing any incident on the pitch that, upon further investigation, could disadvantage one of his players, and another system that has given him the ability to see anything whatsoever that may have been of a questionable nature and which may have been advantageous to Arsenal had the decision been given their way.
That was a long sentence, wasn't it?
Now, however, the Frenchman has exhausted his vast dictionary of excuses for the North London club's failure to win anything, and has been told to 'skedaddle' with all the psychology, philosophy and physiology books he can carry back to Paris for some Parisology.
Arsenal fan David Dunce said:
"Bring back George Graham."