Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Sunday, 28 August 2011

image for Manchester Utd & City Spank North London Pair for Thirteen

On a harrowing day for north London football supporters, Manchester Utd and City put a total of 13 goals past Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur.

Fabulously wealthy City went nap at Spurs, winning 5-1 but later in the afternoon Utd ripped an inexperienced Gunners defence apart, stuffing them 8-2.

Of course, sports editor Thelonious Adidas found the whole afternoon hilarious.

"I found the whole afternoon hilarious," he said. "I missed the first few minutes of the Utd game because the missus wanted to watch Midsomer Murders on the ITV. I always get a giggle out of that as well, so that was OK.

"The funniest part was the first 15 to 20 minutes of the second half. The only noise you could hear was the Gooners singing 'We love you Arsenal' and I just presumed all the Utd fans had left at half time to get their trains home to Oxford, Beckenham, Truro and what-have-you.

"But you could hear some of them cheer when Utd scored. Well, I thought I could - I was rolling around helpless with laughter as poor old Arsene Wenger looked more and more nonplussed as the carnage continued."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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