Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 27 August 2011

image for Fergie Sends Huge Kebab Order To Ali Bullo Ahead Of Man United Arsenal Clash
Salad, Compressed Meat, Pitta Bread, And A Wine Glass Worth Of Saturated Fat - Lovely!

Kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, revealed today that Sir Alex Ferguson has placed a huge and highly lucrative order for two hundred extra large doner, one hundred chicken shish, one hundred and twenty five lamb sish, and seventy six kofte - to be delivered to Old Trafford at six pm prompt Sunday afternoon.

Sir Alex, who has spoken in support of beleaguered Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger, revealed that he and Wenger had put their heads together, and decided that ordering pizzas was not, perhaps such a good idea.

It is thought that the decision to order kebabs in preference to pizza was taken in order to avoid a possible repeat of the notorious 'Pizzagate' incident outside the Old Trafford dressing rooms in 2004. In that incident, following United's 2-0 victory, reports have Cesc Fabregas lobbing a pizza at Sir Alex Ferguson as the managers clashed over remarks made to United striker Ruud Van Nistelrooy, accusing him of being a cheat.

According to reports, this sparked a vicious food fight, which left Sir Alex with mozzarella, tomato puree, and pepperoni stains on his shirt.

Eager to avoid a copycat event, the two bosses put their heads together and decided to order kebabs. Sources report that when ordering quality kebabs, Ali Bullo was the only viable option, as his kebabs are way too tasty to waste on food fights.

All of which is great news for Ali Bullo, who has been struggling to make ends meet as a double dip recession bites. He told us:

"Is good for business. At first me worry that I need get bigger van for delivery. More bladdy expense. But cousin Innit, him offer to help, and drive Kangoo with kebab to Manchester. I take other kebab in back of Volvo. We not know Manchester very good, so we borrow sat-nav from Uncle Balto. Me go first with sat-nav, because cousin Innit, him shit with sat-nav. Him can no work it. Him follow. I no let him take lead. Him dangerous. Him get lost. End up in bladdy Swansea or somewhere."

Kick off is at 4pm BST

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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