Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

image for Joey Barton on The Road To Wigan Pier with QPR
Animal Farm in Shepherd's Bush.

QPR have been given permission by Newcastle to 'have a word' with Joey Barton.

The deep thinking Barton has recently converted to Existentialism and his constant soul searching has given bewildered Geordies the needle: "Joey's head has been turned by George Orwell" complained plebian Newcastle manager Alan Pardew

Tough talking Joey, who has battled for freedom of speech on Twitter, has been censored by Newcastle after deconstructing the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche to his 500,000 followers: "Barton is talking bollocks" said Toon legend Alan Shearer after he was called a "slaphead" by alienated truth seeker Joey.

But the well read midfield enforcer has struggled in the intellectual wasteland of Newcastle and is keen to pursue his existence in a more literary enviroment: "God is Dead. I want to play for QPR" tweeted @Joey7Barton.

Free agent Barton hopes to 'live the dream' after discovering that QPR are travelling to Wigan this saturday: "The Road To Wigan Pier is right up there with Animal Farm" tweeted George Orwell fan Joey to Rangers' centre half Danny Shittu.

Canny QPR manager Neil Warnock has told Joey Barton that moving to Shepherd's Bush would be "a perfect example of Jungian Synchronicity."

And if Warnock can persuade Joey Barton to drop his £65,000 a week wage demand, QPR should be able to release the troubled scouser from his bleak Orwellian nightmare.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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