Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 21 August 2011

image for Scousers Shocked Rigid As Gary Neville Says Nice Things About Liverpool On Sky Sports
Gary Neville Is A Red, Is A Red, Is A Red! Gary Neville Is A Red - He Hates Scousers!

Liverpool is a city in shock. Native Liverpudlians could be seen shaking their heads and mumbling to themselves as they went about their business this morning.

It wasn't so much that King Kenny's lads had gone down to dat Lundun and dismantled the Arsenal at the Emirates, emerging triumphantly two goals and three points to the good...

It was that Gary Neville.

Even hardened Stretford End veterans choked on their beer yesterday as legendary Scouse hater, the lad Neville, said some really complimentary things about Liverpool's 2-0 victory.

Neville praised Liverpool's movement, lauded their team spirit, heaped admiration on the second goal, and although as dull as ditchwater as usual, he was really quite benevolent in his opinions of King Kenny's rival crew from down the other end of the East Lancs Road.

Scouser, Liverpool stalwart, lifelong Koppite, and general all round good egg, Mickey McWhack told Skoob Sports News:

"I'm in shock here lar. You just know dat there's sump'n not quite kosher, when yer get Gary bleedin' Neville bein' nice to yer. I 'ad to ask meself - is this the same Gary bleedin' Neville dat run der length of the park at Old Drabford - the theatre of bleedin' schemes - an' made a point of kissin' his shitty badge to taunt our lads up the corner? We must be doin' sump'n right if Gary bleedin' Neville was saying good things about us. I've been in bleedin' shock ever since, I have. I mean; what next? David bleedin' Moyes admittin' in public that der reds are really der people's club? It's doin' my swede in is all this. I'll tell yer. Dead confused I am an' dat. Lar."

In a bid to sort out what was really happening SSN spoke to lifelong United fan, Donald Skoob, a janitor at Salford University. He told us:

"Gary Neville is our friend. For obvious reasons. Don't them there bin dippers realise that he was takin' the piss?"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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