Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 18 August 2011

image for Man Utd to move to Singapore!
Here is the new Singapore home of Man Utd, a perfect, modern replica of Camp Nou (??)

Man Utd owners, the Glazer family, are selling up their interests in England and they have already sold Old Trafford to Disneyland. The club will move lock, stock (falling at the moment) and barrel to Singapore where they are to be listed on the Singapore stock exchange.

A brand new stadium is being built and will hold 150.000 Man U loony Asian supporters; they have around 180 million there. Man U will remain in the Premier league and fly to away games with their private Turkish Airline jet. Home games are no problem either as other Premier League teams, except Swansea, all own private jets and United will pay their travelling expenses.

The United players are over the moon about the move, especially Giggsy and Rooney (scandals, etc), because they will not be followed by UK paparazzi any more, live in superb multi-million mansions and can have as many affairs as they want (prostitutes tend to slightly cheaper there too).

The move is to take place before the 2013-2014 season begins and when the Glazer family was asked about their Mancunian fan base they answered:

"we don't give a shit about those 2 fans who actually live in Manchester, United are a global concern now and with this move we will earn even more millions; think about the replica shirts we will sell at every home game and India and China are just around the corner, it's a dream move!"

Sir Alex doesn't fancy the move, he's near retiring (?), but his possible heir to the throne; The Special One, José, thinks the idea is spectacular because he wants to get as far away from Barcelona as possible; well that's understandable!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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