Written by Karen Fish
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Wednesday, 17 August 2011

image for Kris Humphries Kim Kardashian Give Kobe Bryant Paparazzi Tips

New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries is marrying Kim Kardashian this Saturday at the Sotto Il Monte Estate in Montecito, California. Invitations to the pending nuptials are available on eBay. Kobe Bryant is a five time NBA Champion. Gimme Five!

Kris Humphries' fiancée Kim Kardashian is one of five sisters, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie. Kris Humphries has two sisters Kaela and Krystal. Kris Humphries should feel right at home.

When Josh Duhamel and Fergie heard the word 'Montecito' they said "I'm in." Other guests include Justin Bieber and Demi Lovato, Kim's pals. The entire New Jersey Nets organization will be there plus Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa. Kobe Bryant was selected in the first round of the 1996 NBA Draft by the Charlotte Hornets with the 13th pick and Kris Humphries was selected in the first round of the 2004 NBA Draft by the Utah Jazz with the 14th pick. The difference between 13 and 14 is 1.

Kobe Bryant once scored 81 points in one game. Kris Humphries averages 5 points per game and makes $3 Million per year for doing it. Kobe Bryant's team mate Lamar Odom was chosen by the Los Angeles Clippers 4th overall and 1st by Khloe Kardashian. It's not easy keeping up with the Kardashians but when it comes to handling the paparazzi nobody does it better.

This past Sunday while most of America was watching Keegan Bradley do his Lazarus impersonation after chipping into the water on 15, Kobe Bryant went to Church at St. Therese of Carmel Church in Carmel Valley, San Diego with his wife Vanessa. Kobe Bryant thought that a young man was taking pictures of him and Vanessa in church under the watchful eye of the creator. Kobe grabbed the man's cell phone, saw there were no pictures of himself or Vanessa and gave back the phone/camera.

The man went to the hospital complaining of a sprained wrist. The man told the police that when Kobe Bryant grabbed his cell phone/camera Kobe grabbed his wrist, and injured it. Now the San Diego police want to interview Kobe Bryant for assault and battery. Kim Kardashian told Kobe Bryant, "Moron, these pictures are worth huge money. When you saw that there were no pictures of you and Vanessa, you should have asked the kid to take a few pictures of you and Vanessa in the pews, in the closet, beside the Messiah and doing lay ups into the Holy Water. Instead you're going to have to buy Vanessa another rock."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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