Written by Moys Kenwood
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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Manchester United Facing Uncertain Future
...not even if Old Trafford falls down, I'm afraid

Premier League champions Manchester United are facing an uncertain future this morning after it was announced that its owners, the Glazer family, had been considering a share sale in Singapore to help raise money to reduce some of their huge debts.

Yesterday, United thumped Arsenal 8-2 at Old Trafford, but, despite the fact that they looked leagues ahead of the Gunners, manager Alex Ferguson knows that anything could happen, and they could still be relegated.

United, the biggest club on the planet - it can be seen from the Moon - are confidently expected by fans to retain the Premier League title again this season, but, as many have already pointed out, it's not a foregone conclusion.

And even if they do manage to successfully defend the title, no-one seems to know by how many points they will finish clear of the second-placed club, nor who that club is likely to be.

It's this kind of uncertainty that has got the Old Trafford club and its chief executive David Gill in a flap, and the sense of panic has also permeated through to the fans.

One United fan we interviewed, who lives in London, like most of the ones that don't live in Asia do, said:

"Nuffin's set in stone. If we get too many injuries - say, 30 - or if Old Trafford collapses during an earthquake, or a million uvver fings, we might have to move inta second gear."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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