There was shock and disbelief among the local population today as England became the world's best cricket team.
By crushing India by an innings and 242 runs in Birmingham, Andrew Strauss's men climbed above their opponents in the world test rankings - though the table will not be official until after the final test at the Oval.
"Get away - you're pulling my leg," said local man Bill Leather. "England the best cricket team in the world? Ha - do I look like I was born yesterday?"
Mrs Arabella Willow, of Elliott Gardens, added: "No, no - sorry dear, you must have got that wrong. Are you sure you shouldn't be asking me about the latest England batting collapse?"
Assured by our reporter that we had our facts correct, Mrs Willow said: "Well, well, well. There's a turn-up. I'll go to the top of our stairs!"
EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas was unavailable for comment. His wife, Gemma, said: "He's upstairs rolling around in fits of laughter. I'll get him to call the office when he comes round."