Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 7 August 2011

image for Man United's David De Gea - The New Jim Leighton
The Only Way United Will Keep A Clean Sheet This Season

With Manchester United two goals down to arch rivals, Manchester City, with goals from Joleon Lescott and Edin Dzeko at half time in the Community Shield at Wembley, comparisons are already being made between new goalkeeper, David DeGea and Jim Leighton.

United fans, still cut up about the retirement of Edwin Van Der Sar, and forever waxing lyrical about the goalkeeping prowess of Peter Schmeichel were hoping that David DeGea would live up to his illustrious predecessors.

However, the nearest comparison many reds have been able to come up with, sadly, is with Scots goalkeeping disaster area, Jim Leighton.

DeGea conceded a soft header from Lescott, and allowed a speculative effort from 25 yards out by Dzeko to creep past him.

"Wake me up. Please," one United fan on the Wembley terraces wailed. "It's like fucking Jim Leighton all over again. Barthez gave me nightmares. This guy looks just as bad. He'll be punching the ball into his own fucking net from a corner next. I hope he isn't as bad as that drippy Italian twat we had who let the ball bobble over him in a match at OT against Southampton."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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