Harry Redknapp's vocabulary has been looted and left for brown bread by tea leaves during the Tottenham riots.
"The toe rags have half inched all my favourite words" said a down in the north and south 'Arry.
Bundles of expressions, a collection of private jokes and some rare rhyming slang are believed to have been ransacked from 'Arry's lock up.
"I saw a geezer stuffing all of my t'riffics in his sky rocket" said a brassed off Redknapp.
The pikey slags who trousered 'Arry's words were spotted legging it down the frog and toad in the Tottenham manager's mohair whistle and flute carrying boxes of apples and pears.
"The donuts will be fencing the gear down the market but i have given the Old Bill a list of the missing words" said 'Arry .
Rumours are going round the manor that 'Arry has got the double hump and has offered a monkey in lemon dash for the return of his vocabulary.
But the Tottenham guvnor denies the jackanory: "I've never heard nothing and i am not saying nothing" said 'Arry.