Written by Lady Godiva
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Wednesday, 27 July 2011

image for Olympic Torch to be carried through the streets of Middlesbrough, North East England on its way to London
Chav deciding whether or not he can part with his 'oodie for one day

Most residents of Middlesbrough, England, were ecstatic when they heard that the Olympic Torch will be carried through their town en route to London for the opening of the 2012 Olympic Games.

The 'handing over' of the torch will take place at The Riverside Stadium, home of Middlesbrough Football Club and from there
it will be carried through the downtown core. It will be carried up Linthorpe Road and past the site of the former home of the club, Ayresome Park, which is now a housing development. Residents are mostly Boro' fans who bought homes built on the site when the club moved.

The name of the lucky person who will run with the torch, has not yet been revealed. This is a very important lead-up to the 2012 Olympics and a committee has been set up to choose the individual who will be entrusted with this enormous responsibility.

Police are already making plans for crowd control procedures as they want the people of Middlesbrough to be seen by others as well-behaved individuals.

To this end, Inspector Bobby Elmut, of the Cleveland Constabulary, told our reporter that a special 'Hoody Squad' is being put together in order to control any chavs who will certainly be out in force on this historic occasion.

Inspector Elmut said that the chavs will be dealt with gently and be given two options:

1. They can simply hand over, temporarily, all hoodies and imitation Burberry accessories to be returned to them after the 'parade'.

2. They can stay well away from the center of the town on 'the' day if they don't wish to comply with No. 1 or risk being arrested.

It is believed that many chavs will choose number 1 as many of them ARE Boro fans even though many can't afford tickets to attend games.

Inspector Elmut is confident that the Olympic Torch will make it's way safely through the streets of Middlesbrough and expects the streets to be crowded with cheering, well-behaved onlookers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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