Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 27 July 2011

image for Chelsea fan Nick Clegg taunts David Cameron about Aston Villa
Up the Villa.

Nick Clegg, leader of the Liberal Democrats, has wound up Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron with taunts about Aston Villa selling their best players.

Cameron, who has been supporting the Villa since he was 13, is reported to be incensed by Clegg's off the cuff remark that Aston Villa have "made a right ricket" by selling stars Ashley Young and Stewart Downing and "blowing the dosh on the French donkey Charles N'Zogbia from Wigan."

Dave Cameron has told reporters that Nick Clegg is "bang out of order with these comments" and that he will "have a word" with him.

Nick Clegg's paternal grandmother was Baroness Kira von Engelhardt, a descendant of an Attorney General in the Imperial Russian senate, and Clegg is a distant cousin of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich.

The Liberal Democrat, who dwells in Putney, also frequents Los Perros Cojones Tapas Bar in the Kings Road, a favourite haunt of Frank Lampard and John Terry, fuelling speculation that he is a closet Chelsea fan.

It is reported that Dave Cameron has already 'fronted' Nick Clegg about "hedging his bets" in an eyeball to eyeball confrontation, and has asked Clegg to "come clean" about which team he really follows.

Clegg denies that he has ever supported Chelsea, despite the documentary-maker Louis Theroux, who was Clegg's 'fag' at a £28,344 a year Westminster boarding school, claiming that Clegg used to "be involved" with the notoriously violent 'Chelsea Firm'.

Cameron has told members of his inner circle that he finds Clegg "shifty and evasive" and wishes he would "man up" and admit he is a Chelsea supporter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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