Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 23 July 2011

image for OMG! Did Harry hex Dettori's King George mount Rewilding?
Rewilding had been held up at the rear of the pack before making his fatal challenge two furlongs from home

Ascot - Another racing disaster struck today following the abject failure of talked-up royal nag Carlton House in the Epsom Derby seven weeks ago.

Punters at Ascot racecourse were left reeling as King George second favorite Rewilding, ridden by Frankie Dettori, fell two out, broke a cannon bone and had to be humanely put down.

Moments earlier Prince Harry had been seen chatting excitedly in the paddock with jockey Dettori, a wad of winnings already bulging in his jacket pocket and a big anticipatory smile of more to come on his flushed, freckly face.

"Five minutes later and it was all over," RoyalMugPunter.con sources commented.

"The curse of the Windsors has struck again wiping out five million quid in sure fire bets."

The freak accident in the home straight saw Rewilding stumble, toss Dettori out of the saddle and break down on the lush Berkshire turves.

The jockey was quickly taken to hospital where he was pronounced ok - but his four year-old mount was hurriedly destroyed by the racecourse vet.

Victory was claimed by William Buick whose three year-old mount Nathaniel stormed home in the Group One beating last year's Derby and Arc winner Workfarce (sic).

The 11/10fav may have been affected by the tragedy because he suddenly veered off to the left during the closing 500 yard dash home 'like badly a spooked jumper in the Grand National'.

Rewilding's owner Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider's spokesman later said the stable was totally gutted by today's tragedy 'which nobody could have forseen'.

Harry's presentation of the race winning trophy to connections 'was entirely appropriate' given the Queen's already buggered orf to Scotland for the duration.

Clare Balding is 69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

2 14 19 4

Go to top