Written by j.w.
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Thursday, 21 July 2011

Just when people were writing off West Ham as the football team of the future a few fans have got together in a bubble bath to try and prepare for the new season in the Championship.

'We are ready for a few goals - by us this time' one declared. 'I think we should offer special benefits to players who do well' said another.

'Like what?' was the query. 'Free eel pies for a week!'

'That would get things moving.'

Down at Upton Park the pitch is being prepared for removal to the new Olympic stadium after the Olympics. The sods trod by Bobby Moore, Trevor Brooking and Geoff Hurst will be moving with the team. There is some difficulty in making sure the sods trod by Frank Lampard Jnr, Harry Redknapp and Rio-Coker will be left behind.

Mystics are on hand to predict the future for the Hammers. 'Our Sam will get things going' claimed a West Ham loyalist mystic through and through 'we can't go wrong with Allardyce pulling the strings. I can see iron growing into his backbone.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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