Written by LancsHatter
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Thursday, 21 July 2011

image for Blade Runner Qualifies for London 2012
Coming soon to a stadium near you...

Oscar Pistorius, the Blade Runner, has run a fast enough qualifying time for the London 2012 games after a performance of 45.07 seconds for the 400 metres. However, doubts have been cast over the South African's true identity.

After much unashamed phone hacking and putting his nose it where it isn't wanted, reporter Taribo West has discovered evidence that all is not well for the man who runs on plastic legs (aside from the fact he has no legs.)

West discovered that Pistorius was actually born Rick Deckard, who was infamously portrayed in the movie Blade Runner, by Harrison Ford. West asked movie director Ridley Scott about these allegations with the reply,

"Of course the movie was based on a true story, I couldn't make that shit up. Gladiator was the same, based on the life story of an Italian bloke I met on the piss in Milan in '97. Don't even get me started on Hannibal."

Pistorius/Deckard was unavailable for comment, more to follow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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