Written by Morse
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Monday, 18 July 2011

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Irishman Darren Clarke Wins a Pint at British Open!

Forty-two year old Irishman Darren Clarke, who is said to fancy a pint now and then as well as a good cigar, waltzed home at 5 under par to taken home the Claret Jug at Royal St. George at Sandwich!

The win sent Irish country men rushing to their local pubs to raise a pint or two to the latest of their tribe to prove their prowess on the links.

Clarke joins Rory Mcilroy, 22, who stunned the golfing world with his record setting 16 below par run away at the US open this year, Graeme Mcdowell who took the same event in 2010, and Padraig Harington winner of the 2007 AND 2008 Open AND the 2008 PGA championship!

Teetotaler Phil Mickelson said, " My hats off to the lads, most of the time they're basically just 3 sheets to the wind, which fits the nature of golf in this part of the world. They're so relaxed the pressure never gets to 'em, and they're a good natured lot when they drink before the match....not a nasty drunk amongst 'em, I don't care what John Daly says!"

"This just doesn't portend well for us at the next Ryder Cup," said honorary team captain Tom Watson, 61, who participated in this years open finishing 6 over par including a 72 in swirling rain and a 25 MPH wind.

Watson, ranked number 1 from 1978-1982 won 5 Open championships, 2 Masters and 1 US open in his run, and narrowly missed the 2010 jug at age 60, losing a 4 hole playoff!

Said Watson, " I've got to get our lads to loosen up a bit. Nothing like a few snorts to relax the muscles, relieve stress, and just let your natural ability and muscle memory take over. The biggest key after shot positioning, is the short game.....you're better off being half in the bag. Relaxing the hands will more often then not put the ball in the cup. I'll be working on that with my boys prior to the next Ryder Cup...I've asked Big John Daly to lend a hand, and we'll be having some conditioning work outs starting in about a month!"

"I couldn't agree more with Tom," said an American golfer identified only as 'Bobby D" who heads up a group of Colonial Gofers known as The Warriors, " after spending part of my time in Scotland every year, I can attest that the Irish & the Scots play better golf after having a few...I know when I got back home after conditioning myself , I was 'lights out" shotting an 80, 8 less than my handicap!"

For his efforts Clarke, who lost his wife to cancer in 2006, picked up a $1.4M check, plus a bonus from an English company of $3m and was last hosting an open bar for his countrymen at the Blind Pig Pub which was closed to outsiders.

Hats off to the Irish!

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