In a tactical move which would put Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson to shame, Spoof supremo, head honcho, chief cook and bottle washer, Mike Lawson, was today spotted in the Northamptonshire countryside, with none other than...the legendary mystery blonde...
A revelation which sparked animated debate in the pubs of Turnham Green and the tobacco kilns of Ontario, Canada.
It's believed that even a legendary fish stretcher was involved.
Lawson denied all knowledge (in true Lancashire fashion, when under interrogation by people with electric cattle prods) and swore that his only reason for being at Silverstone was to watch the British Grand Prix.
With his wife, and not a mystery blonde. Probably camping out in a tent and eating baked beans cooked on a calor gas stove.*
In the rain.
When approached and asked for comment, Lawson said:
"Look, let's get this straight. I'm sick of people being dicks and hurling unfounded accusations hither and thither. I run a bloody website. That's it - equal opportunities and all that. They will snipe, because they're all egomaniacs...but...having said all that... Who is this mystery blonde? She sounds all gorgeous and enigmatic and stuff. I'd love to meet her. Does she wear an Armani jacket, a little black dress and Loboutin heels? Oh my God! When I find out who she is and what she's about, I'll let you know...and if you tell the wife, I'll set Martin Shuttlecock on you. Now. Behave. God...transfixed I am...she's...oooh!"
More when the prodigal son returns.