Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Topics: Boxing, David Haye

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

image for David Haye's broken toe and Sonny Liston's penis for sale on E Bay

The broken toe of boxer David Haye is for sale on E Bay.

The little toe is being offered for £24-95 with a £2-95 Standard Delivery charge.

Boxers' body parts have been attracting lots of interest from fight fans. Collector Wally Nonce, who was a cut man for the Krays, is preparing a bid for Haye's toe:

"I am in for Haye's broken toe. It would be a right result to get it for under a Pony" said an excited Nonce.

Bermondsey born Wally already owns a portion of Evander Holyfield's ear. The piece of ear was chewed and bitten off by 'Iron' Mike Tyson in their 1997 bout.

The delighted Nonce told a reporter from Boxing News:

"I had to pay a Monkey for the lump of Holyfield's lughole. It still has traces of Tyson's saliva on it."

Nonce is also "up for a small part of Frank Bruno's brain."

The little bit of Bruno's brain is being marketed by East End boxing promoter Frank Pikey.

Pikey claims the pea sized morsel was stuck to Bruno's gumshield and was found in the ring after Frank was stopped by James 'Bonecrusher' Smith in 1984.

But rival boxing body parts promoter Willy Scrote has told a potential punter in The Bucket Of Blood Public House that Pikey's "bit of Bruno's brain" is not the 'real deal' and is "just a piece of gristle from a Pie Mash shop."

Rumours are spreading round the manor that Scrote has his own business to do and is open to bids for "half of Sonny Liston's penis" which he has stored in a lock up on the Mile End Road.

Scrote has told Pikey that the half of penis, which has been photographed and will be auctioned on E Bay, is "100% kosher" and that "Nonce would love to get his hands on it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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