Written by KendoMonkey
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Topics: Drugs, Scientists

Wednesday, 22 October 2003

All athletics trophies and medals awarded within the last 100 years are set to be recalled after scientists release information of a new performance enhancing drug, used illegally for at least the last century.

Top Government science advisor, Borkel Munchaus, said:

"We are excited to pronounce a new performance enhancing additive that athletes have been using to gain an unfair advantage in sports. We have dubbed this drug 'F.O.O.D', which stands for: 'food'. This addictive and highly powerful substance has been fuelling athletes for far too long and we must stop this plague."

When asked whether 'food' was dangerous to the athletes, Mr Munchaus pronounced: "We have strong evidence which links the eating of 'food' to an eventual death. There is nothing more deadly than the consumption of 'food'."

Athletes are in uproar about the findings and are said to be thinking of going on hunger strikes in protest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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