Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Sunday, 3 July 2011

image for Wimbledon Finals: You Have To Laugh, Says Expert
There were a few more there yesterday.

As Britain's annual love affair with lawn tennis came to its usual unrewarded end on Sunday, there were sounds of laughter emanating from SW19.

"Oh, I love it," says EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas. "Every year it's the same: 'Can (insert current top Brit) do it this year?' 'Where's the next British star coming from?'

"And the ladies final is over in ten grunting minutes, while the blokes battle it out for hours on end. For the same money! It's hilarious!"

Adidas watched new Czech star Petra Kvitova defeat Maria Sharapova 6-3, 6-4 on Saturday and new world number one Novak Djokovic depose Rafael Nadal 6-4, 6-1, 1-6, 6-3 on Sunday.

"Those girls barely broke sweat and were back in the dressing room in less than 90 minutes. But those lads belted it around for four sets - but they get the same money!

"Oh please, it's just too funny! Brilliant!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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