Written by Dr Jon
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Friday, 1 July 2011

image for British Man loses at Tennis, world keeps turning
It nearly went over this just enough times. Nearly.

The only British man who is any good at tennis lost today to one of the many, many blokes who just happen to be better than him at it.

"He lost well", said Susan Crochet, tennis correspondent of The Daily Middlebrow "he lost to the standard we've come to expect of the British number one. He lost skilfully, he lost comprehensively, and he gave that hoard of dicks who go to Tennis to yell in between points something to yap mindlessly"

However, some were quick to disagree. "His standard of losing was no better than the standard of losing he showed last year", commented Dirk Spink, a British Tennis coach, who is half Australian and hence a bit more bothered about not actually getting beat.

Spink feels the British bloke needs to show some improvement in his losing in the next 12 months if he is to compete with the great British losers.

"You know, like thingy. And Jeremy Whatsit. And the guy who married that lady who could actually play tennis. And that Nazi guy."

Meanwhile, Europeans and Americans carried on not only winning at Tennis, but not making such a fucking fuss about some bloke who sometimes nearly wins.

In unrelated news, the entire British Manufacturing sector went finally down the pan yesterday, although for years the products they made had been almost good enough.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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