Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 30 June 2011

image for Nadal Shitting Himself Over Murray Semi-Final
A Nadal fan eating a Mardyfish

Andy Murray eased past Spain's Feliciano Lopez to reach his third successive Wimbledon Men's semi-final, and set up another meeting with Rafael Nadal, who was said to be shitting himself at the prospect.

British number one Murray dominated from the start on Centre Court, winning his quarter-final 6-3 6-4 6-4 against a hapless Lopez.

The impressive performance gives Murray another crack at defending champion Nadal, who beat him in the Wimbledon semi-final last year.

World number one Nadal later admitted in a news conference that he was feeling "a bit ropey". He said:

"I'm not looking forward to playing Murray. Indeed, I am nigh-on shitting me pants, although it might have summat to do with that Mardyfish I ate during me quarter-final bout."

He added:

"I speak Inglish. I learn it from a book."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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