Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Super Star Nene Tells The Denver Nuggets He May Be Returning To Brazil For Good
Nene says if he is not happy he'll pass up his $11.6 million salary and move back to Brazil.

DENVER - Six foot eleven inch Denver Nuggets center Nene told a close friend of his that he is tired of playing games (no pun intended).

Sport Territory's Atwood "Overtime" McSparrow stated that the Brazilian star says that he has made it very clear to the Denver organization that he plans to opt out of his final year of his present contract and become an unrestricted free agent.

Nene is very upset at the fact that the Nuggets director of Player Opting Angus F. Tuppenstrudel, 46, basically laughed at him and told him that he would not be going any place and to stop acting like some of the other NBA divas around the league.

Nene who was born Maybyner Rodney Hilario in Sao Carlos, Brazil, but legally changed his name to Nene in 2003, stated that if Tuppenstrudel does not stop running his mouth like a professional wrestler he will be responsible for him returning back to his native Brazil where he will go to work in his uncle's Brazil nut factory as a supervisor of nuts.

Tuppenstrudel responded by saying that he's just bluffing cause there is no way that Nene will turn his back on a contract that will pay him $11,600,000 for the coming year.

Nene's fellow teammate and himself a free agent Kenyon Martin told Tupperware, as the players call him behind his back, that if he lets Nene get away then he will most probably also leave Denver as well and then the Nuggets will probably end up going 0-82 for the 2011-2012 season.

Martin's remarks reportedly got back to Denver owner E. Stanley "El Toupee" Kroenke who has not only threatened to fire Tuppenstrudel but who will also have him arrested for Bona Fide Ex Post Facto Dumbitus if Nene and Martin both leave the team.

Sports Territory is reporting that Tuppenstrudel has since gone into hiding and is believed to be disguised as an old, 80-year-old Amish woman hiding out in either Pennsylvania, Ohio, or Indiana.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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