Written by pinxit
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win
Vettel's urine samples: 'Is it coz I is Bladdered?'

A random urine sample taken from Sebastian Vettel less than an hour after his victory in the Valencia Grand prix has proved positive for a controlled substance.

A statement reads; "As part of our ongoing policy of random drug testing a sample was taken from driver Sebastian Vettel shortly after the European Grand Prix. This sample has proved positive for the banned substance ethanol (C2H5OH) - commonly known by its street-name, 'Bubbly'."

According to an F1 pitlane insider, Vettel was clearly and shamelessly brandishing huge quantities of the substance, even on the victor's podium.

"He reeked of booze, it was on his breath and all over his racesuit, overalls and cap. I dunno how he thought he'd get away with it. I tell you what, Alonso and Webber were lucky not to get tested too...they were in the same state on the podium. Those lads must have a real problem" he said.

Red Bull were said to be 'gobsmacked' by the test result and declined to issue an immediate statement, but a clearly puzzled Vettel issued a quick retort to assembled pitlane reporters.

'Perhaps it is because I keep winning and am always on the podium... whatever it is, they keep taking the piss out of me' he said.

Make pinxit's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

5 15 2 14
86 readers are online right now!

Go to top