Written by IainB
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Monday, 20 June 2011

image for 2020 Olympics to be sponsored by Opticians
No longer a bar to being a top athelete

Specscrimpers, the British Opticians that were immortalized in the football chant towards referees and added to this by sponsoring those very referees, have gone a step further into sport sponsorship by sponsoring the 2020 Olympics.

"It's a natural progression," said Myra O'Pich, spokesperson for the optical high-street giants. "2020 is a term for vision, it's the Olympics, we're into vision, we're sporty...you see the connection."

Unfortunately, the only people to see the connection are Specscrimpers. However, the Olympic committee are not pointing this out with a multimillion sponsorship deal.

"We're very happy to take Specscrimpers' money," said Seb Coe. "We're not even collecting for the Olympics in 2020 yet. I've got a lovely jacuzzi out of it."

Specscrimpers are planning on producing a range of 2020 Olympic glasses, including streamlined glasses for sprinters, glasses with attached water bottles for marathon runners, integrated cycle helmet with glasses for cyclists and prescription goggles for the swimmers. The spectacle designers are in discussions with the Olympic Fair Play committee to ensure that binocular spectacles with integrated laser sight are not performance enhancing for the shooting, and that winged glasses that add centimetres to a long jumpers distance are also legal.

"We don't see short sightedness as a bar to taking part in the Olympics," said O'Pich. "We don't see why people who cannot read a numberplate at twenty metres have to take part in the Para-Olympics. Two out of every three people are short sighted in the UK, it's about time they too can take part!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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