Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 19 June 2011

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I Can't Believe It Isn't Raining.

Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray today vowed not to disappoint the fans at this year's Wimbledon Championships, saying that he'll probably go all the way before he totally capitulates to Nadal or Federer in the latter stages of the tournament.

Thus far in his career, Murray hasn't failed to disappoint the fans who don't really expect him to do all that well.

"I think he's great," one fan said. "We know he's going to get beat sooner or later and he hasn't let us down yet."

The only thing which appears to be in doubt is the excuse Murray will offer for his inevitable defeat, with bookmakers offering evens on an ankle injury, 5/4 on a wrist problem, and 33/1 on the acute onset of haemorrhoids.

Good old Andy remains cheerful and upbeat in the face of the inevitable, and has told reporters that he wants to continue the great tradition of British male tennis players, such as Mark Cox, the Lloyd brothers and Tim Henman.

"Och ah dinnae gi' a shite aboot winnin' the thing," he told the press. "Ma big ambition in tennis is tae hov a hill named after me, like yon Henman fella. See you. Och aye the noo, bollies and stains."

Precisely.

More as we get it.

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