In a packed and raucous American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida, LeBron James unveiled his new time machine invention. Sitting on a golden throne and dressed in royal purple, LeBron James fitted a gold crown that was studded with rubies and diamonds, upon his head.
King James waited for the crowd to finally settle down before standing up and thrusting his fists into the air and shouting:
"I am the king!"
"I am King James!"
"As King James I command a team that will win me an NBA championship!"
"For which I will take all the credit for winning myself!"
"For which will allow me to go to Cleveland and taunt them and belittle them and refuse to eat at any of their Burger Kings'".
The crowd broke into a roar that was so loud it shook the very stage on which the king was standing. Next to the king's throne was a large rectangular box with a curtain hanging over its front.
The rectangle box was a time machine that King James invented himself.
King James walked up to the time machine and pulled down a great big lever that was afixed on the right side of the machine and… BANG!
Out popped a 25 year old Bill Russell.
Another pull and… BANG!
Out popped a 25 year old Magic Johnson.
Two more pulls added Jerry West and Michael Jordan who were both in the prime of their NBA careers.
"My servants", called out the king to the crowd.
The four NBA greats pulled up the King's throne so that he could sit down. They pointed to King James and dipped their arms in a swooshing motion and pointed to the front door of the arena.
The crowd roared and then stormed the stage and picked up King James while he was sitting on his throne and started marching him out the door.
"I am the King", James shouted out joyously. "I am the King of the world".
The crowd carried King James out onto the sidewalk and brought him over to a large puddle of mud into which they promptly dumped him. As the king landed into the mud turning his royal purple into muddy brown, his crown fell from his head and shattered on the sidewalk.
The crown, as it turned out, was not made of gold and studded with diamonds and rubies, but of glass and studded with colored plastic. The crown, like King James, was not the real deal as everyone had initially thought.
Looking at the crumpled and dirty spectacle of King James in the mud puddle NBA great, Bill Russell remarked: "LeBron should have paid a bit more attention to history. We pretty much did the same thing to our last king, King George III, when we got tired of his antics".