Written by Deafo
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Thursday, 16 June 2011

A US beer company whose product is renowned worldwide for quickly losing its fizz once opened has been announced as the new sponsor of the FA Cup, a competition that lost its own sparkle many years ago.

The three-year £multi-million deal between Budweiser brewers Anheuser-Busch and the FA was confirmed by FA General Secretary Alex Horne who excitedly declared it as a deal that made a great deal of sense for both parties.

He told reporters assembled outside the FA's headquarters, 'This partnership, we feel, is the start of a relationship that will benefit both of these wonderful global entities greatly.'

'One, an iconic brand that regularly see's its most avid proponents swinging wildly in the streets in a violent tumult taking on anyone they encounter on streets up and down the land.'

'The other, a master brewer, whose appallingly poor quality beer neatly dovetails with the afore mentioned violence by instigating the drunken behaviour which sees wanton carnage spill out into the public arena all because of the fact you support another team.'

'Sure, some may say you shouldn't encourage football fans to drink, especially when you consider you cannot even have one whilst watching a game, but then its not our concern about the drunken aggression that goes on outside a ground.'

'Thats a tax-payer problem.'

Former England player Paul Gascoigne was quick to signal his approval of the new deal.

'Budweiser aye, great brew, like.'

'I'm all for partnering sports with alcohol, I based my career around it.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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