Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for The Dallas Mavericks Defeat The Miami Heat 105-95 To Become The World Champions - LeBron James Sure Talked The Talk, But Couldn't Walk The Walk
LeBron James' pet cat which he named 'Dynasty' but has now renamed 'Loser.'

MIAMI - The loud thunderous sound that was heard after the Dirk Nowitzki-led Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat 105-95 to win the NBA World Championship did not come from Miami or even from Dallas...that loud boom came from the town that sits on the banks of Lake Erie - Cleveland.

The people of Cleveland erupted in resounding cheers and exuberant applause, and could literally be heard hollering and yelling with jubilant excitement in Chatham-Kent, Canada across from Lake Erie.

But mixed in with all of that cheering was a whole lot of laughter. The people of Cleveland were thrilled to see that their once proud hero, LeBron James, who turned his back on Cleveland and the entire state of Ohio had been beaten and beaten down soundly by a team led by a blond, soft-spoken, super star who was born and raised in Germany, Dirk Nowitzki.

The unmistakable sound of Cleveland Cavalier fans chanting Cavs for Mavs resonated throughout the city and there is no doubt in anyone's mind that surely King James ears, about 1,086 miles away, must certainly have been itching.

Dirk Nowitzki, who stands 7 feet tall, showed the national and world audience what a true champion really looks like. He showed them that a true champion does not have to talk and talk and talk trash like his nemesis on the opposing team did.

LeBron James and his sidekick Dwyane Wade both showed that they not only do not have class but they do not have common decency when they mimicked Nowitzki before game five, who during game four had played with a fever of 102.

"Oh, I'm coughing...I think [COUGH!-COUGH!] I'm sick" Wade giggled.

"Yeah, I think that [COUGH!-COUGH!] I may be sick too." LeBron remarked.

"Yeah, LeBron, you do [COUGH!-COUGH!] look a little pink or actually [COUGH!-COUGH!] to be politically correct purple."

"Well, Dwyane, you [COUGH!-COUGH!] don't exactly look like Beyonce yourself bitch."

And so the self-proclaimed "Dynamic Duo" LeBron James and Dwyane Wade showed the entire world that, as the saying goes, they both clearly let their mouths write checks that their asses could not cash.

So today, there is no joy in Miami - because Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Terry, J.J. Barea, Jason Kidd, Tyson Chandler, Steve Marion and the rest of the World Champion Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat, who were led miserably by the mighty mouths of two trash-talkin' Heatless players.

And hopefully for the benefit of the Heat fans the self-named "Living Legends" will spend some of their off-season time reading about such things as humility, modesty, compassion, and learning how to keep their big mouths shut.

Hopefully the 2011 "Bridesmaids" of the NBA will try and be a little bit more like Dirk and the boys from Dallas, Texas who do not play word games or make cute little snide remarks.

Prince James, formerly King James, has to find a way to somehow get it into his thick skull that he really needs to shut his mouth and let his hands do the talking like the REAL basketball king - King Dirk does.

MEMO TO LEBRON JAMES FROM THE TRUE NBA FANS: Next season please leave your arrogant swagger at home!

It should be noted that Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was the only happy Cuban in the entire American Airlines Arena in Miami.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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