Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for It's Man United v Chelsea In Luka Modric Bidding War - Harry Redknapp Happy
Spurs - Loadsa Money!

Harry Redknapp is quite happy for Manchester United and Chelsea to enter a bidding war to secure the services of Spurs super Croatian midfield star, Luka Modric.

With all the money Spurs have been splashing out on new signings, such as Iniesta, Messi, Sneijder, Ronaldo, Piquet, Busquets and co, Harry was delighted when reporter Damian Twigley revealed that certain phone hacking activities revealed that United and Chelsea were about to enter into a bidding war for Modric.

Spurs have so far spent about £2 trillion on new signings, although nobody seems quite certain where the money came from, and insiders say that Redknapp needs to recoup at least part of that outlay by offloading some players who he deems to be surplus to requirements.

Including Modric.

Talks are also believed to be at an advanced stage to sell Peter Crouch back to Portsmouth, for an estimated £7.99, and Jermaine DeFoe to Swansea City for £11.50

"That oughta balance the books a bit," Redknapp told the Tottenham board.

Arsenal boss, Arsene Wenger was reported to be well miffed after offering Cesc Fabregas to Spurs for £38 million, and being rebuffed by Redknapp.

"The boy ain't good enough for the new, rejuvenated, Spurs," Redknapp apparently remarked.

Both Chelsea and Manchester United are said to be desperate to sign Modric, because he's about the best they can hope for after Redknapp plundered the transfer market, taking all the best players to White Hart Lane.

Rumours that Damian Twigley, Junior Sports Reporter Of The Year was photographed accepting a manila envelope stuffed with £50 notes from a moustachioed Bolivian general in exile on the car park at Scratchwood services have not been confirmed.

"Not them two again," Harry Redknapp groaned. "A right pair of shysters they are. I wouldn't believe a word they tell ya. 'Ere, fancy some pie and mash and liquor?"

All very confusing.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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