Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for Jenson Button Says Lewis Hamilton Is A Spawny Git
F1 Fan - "Is This Montreal Or Manchester?"

Canadian Grand Prix winner Jenson Button, relaxing after his dramatic last lap surge to victory, apologised to McLaren Mercedes team mate Lewis Hamilton for knocking him out of the race, claiming that he didn't see Hamilton in his rear view mirror, and wasn't aware that he was there until he felt Hamilton's car make contact with his own.

The slight collision led to Hamilton running his McLaren down a perimeter wall, damaging the suspension, and leading to him pulling out of the race.

Button then revealed that had he known what lay in store for Hamilton, he'd have quite happily pulled into the pits and allowed Hamilton to drive his own car. Button's alleged remarks came as he watched replays of BBC television coverage of the Montreal Grand Prix and saw Hamilton getting hugs and airtime with sultry R&B siren Rihanna.

"He's a spawny git," Button told one of his pit crew. "I was out there in the pissing rain waiting to get cracking on a treacherously wet racetrack at speeds of up to 300kmph, and he's inside, warm and dry, and hugging Rihanna!

"I tell you, that bloke could fall into a sea of shite and come up smelling of Paco Rabanne's Million. Spawny bastard!

"Still, there's one consolation - when Nicole Sherzinger sees that footage of him showing off his cockpit and entreating Rihanna to look at his undercarriage, she'll go fucking mental. She'll do a Misery on him. Serve the spawny get right."

No jealousy at work there then.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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