Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 11 June 2011

image for Harry Redknapp And David Moyes Laugh Off Talk Of Accepting Vacant Villa Job
Pie Wiv Mash And Liquor - Not Bleedin' Balti

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp, and Everton boss David Moyes both laughed off rumours that either one of them would consider accepting the vacant Aston Villa managerial hot seat.

Which is hardly surprising, because many leading managers regard the Villa job as a poison chalice. The reality remains that half of the Villa first team squad want away from the club, and whoever takes the job on is probably going to have the owner, Randy Lerner, hovering around in the background wielding a big axe.

Earlier this week, Roberto Martinez turned down the job, pledging his future to Wigan Athletic, so it seems highly unlikely that either Redknapp or Moyes will be keen on taking the reins, as both are working on strengthening their respective clubs, Spurs and Everton, and gearing up for a Champions League place campaign next season.

Word from within has it that the only other job that Moyes would be interested in would be taking over from Sir Alex Ferguson, when the wily old fox calls it a day at Manchester United. Equally, Redknapp is unlikely to uproot himself from his native London and his beloved pie, mash and liquor, jellied eels, and Brick Lane bagels, no matter how good the baltis are in Birmingham.

When reporters asked Redknapp and Moyes if they'd be interested in the Villa job, Moyes just laughed and shook his head, while Redknapp commented:

"Aston Villa? You're havin' a larf ain'tcha? Listen 'ere mush - if I had a bleedin' death wish, I'd move to Mogadishu. Or Millwall. Nah mate - it's luvverly dahn the Lane. 'Ave they approached Arsene Wenger yet? He might be interested. Be a step up from the bleedin' Gooners..."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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