Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Andy Murray and Wayne Rooney swap hair
Hair today gone tomorrow.

Wayne Rooney has entered the hair transfer market after his implants failed to sprout.

The Manchester United footballer has made an audacious bid to buy Andy Murray's hair.

Murray had originally offered his hair on a 3 month roll over loan deal, but has been persuaded by his mother to "cash in now":

"I am surprised he has held on to it for so long. It needs constant mowing and cutting back".

The tennis player's mother has also negotiated a sell on clause earning him 25% of any transfer fee should Rooney sell the hair on.

Murray has never really been in control of his tumbleweed mane and feels it is now time to part with his unruly locks:

"It can get very windy at Grand Slams. My hair often breaks down on crucial points"

The Scot will be taking Rooney's surviving follicles in part exchange, with all the hair on Rooney's back thrown in as an 'add on'.

But top sports psychologist Jeckyll Hyde has warned of the "Frankenstein Effect" of hair transplant swop deals:

"Rooney, with Murray's hair, will need to be "mentally strong" enough to play his Game Boy console for several hours a day and "come for tea" when his mum calls him.

And the newly bald and hairy backed Murray must ensure that he doesn't get caught shagging grannies during Wimbledon fortnight".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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