Written by Whitters
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for FA to Organise annual Footballers vs Mistresses match
[Note the footballers pictures are not accused of wrongdoing]

It was the final straw for the FA to find out that Ryan Giggs is the latest Manchester United player to bring the reputation of football into a black day. The FA however, have finally found a solution for this and will allow unannounced affairs to be publicly aired on the field of play.

A week before the start of the Premiership season, tabloid reporters, fans and prostitutes will be descending on Old Trafford for a new experimental game for the FA; the Bondage Cup.

Players from all Premiership teams will be invited to apply for a place on the "Football Team" side if they have an affair or other indiscretion that they wish to make public. Their delightful mistress will then be asked to play for the "Sluts and Slags" team and all proceeds will be then donated for the FA Out Of FIFA charitable fund.

A second match which was submitted to the FA was rejected. It was deemed that Legitimate Children vs Affair Children would be exploiting child labour as the children would be expected to donate their publicity profits to the FOOF charitable fund.

Spokesperson for the FA, who we can not identify due to a injunction banning us from reporting that they are associated with the FA, said "We had thought of holding the match at Wembley Stadium, but we felt that the players, sluts and slags would prefer to travel the shortest possible distance from their usual home ground."

Notes To Editors:

* Players wishing to play for the Football Team should contact Alex Fergurson
* Sluts and Slags wishing to play should contact Imogen Thomas
* Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs are honorary founders
* The FA Out Of FIFA charitable fund wishes to distance the FA from Sepp Blatter, Spokesman for the FA.

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