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Monday, 6 June 2011

image for Millions miss out on London 2012 tickets and escape bankruptcy
Millions relieved to miss out on 2012 tickets

The news that nearly 2 million people have failed to win any Olympic tickets for London 2012 has been met with great relief up and down the country. Hundreds of thousands of people have expressed their delight in not having to sell their organs to watch a host of obscure sports whilst drinking overpriced warm flat soft drinks.

James, a father of 4 from Warrington states, "I got swept up with the whole hype and applied for £3,000 worth of tickets for rhythm gymnastics. Thank god I didn't get them, I can now take the wife and kids on a proper holiday"

Economists have predicted that the money saved by the unsuccessful applicants amounts to 8.3% of the national debt and will significantly increase the UK's credit rating with the IMF.

Of course it is not all good news. For many the prospect of re-mortgaging their house to fund their Olympic experience is all too real.

An anonymous caller stated, "It is just heartbreaking. Like millions of others I applied just to be part of the whole experience. They should've made it clear I may actually get some tickets. I have spent our life savings on women's mountain biking and skeet shooting. I don't even know what a skeet it."

Elsewhere the news was greeted in the City by a 56% rise in e-bays share price.

A spokesperson for the 2012 committee stated they have set up a 24 hour helpline for all those affected and are urging people to contact them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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