Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 5 June 2011

image for Rooney's hair transplant saves his career!
Back to the roots for Wayne, he's just had them implanted!

Wayne Rooney has officially admitted having a hair transplant to stop him going even balder. The recommendation for the transplant came from his main sponsors, N+k+, because they believe at 25 he's too ugly to follow in the footsteps of an ageing Beckham and by putting some hair on his head he could follow "pretty boy" Ronaldo.

Wayne is happy with his new mop, Coleen too and shooting for the latest N+k+ adverts will begin as soon as his mop has grown sufficiently so he can wear a head band from Dolce & Gabbana, use shampoo from Schwarzkopf, gels from Boss, hair trimmers from Gillette, etc.

In fact Wayne has admitted that his new hair has saved his career and mayber even Barcelona or Real Madrid would want to sign him (they only like footie players who can blag super latino, female singing stars or top models which was always Beckham's Achilles heel?).

Another advantage is when Wayne feels a bit "horny" and wants a bit on the side with a VIP-Pro, he can go in and out without being recognised through his bald head, people think he might even be Elton John going straight, after all miracles can happen!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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