Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Wayne Rooney 'given head' by hairdresser.
Wayne Rooney's new look

Wayne Rooney has had a Brazillian - on his bonce!

The follicley challenged England and Manchester United star has given up the Battle of the Barnet.

Visits to London clinics to have his Loaf of Bread implanted with Orangutang's hair have led to much piss taking on Twitter:

"#scousethief ringo scally..don't waste your dosh potato head you will always be a minger".

Rooney has bitten the bullet and told his wife Coleen's hairdresser to
"make me look like Yul Brynner".

After Rooney's bonce was cleaned up, Coleen said he looked even more like a spud than before.

But Coleen, being a Coleen, said she likes having sex with a potato.

Rooney has been wearing his balaclava back to front and is rubbing factor 500 into his forehead until his head 'settles down'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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