Scottish tennis star Andy Murray has forgone his sponsorship deal with the Royal Bank of Scotland to carry the flag for glue manufacturer Pritt Stick.
"I've been thinking about this for a while," Murray told The Spoof, "and I think that Pritt Stick is where it's at."
Critics at the Royal Bank of Scotland are snide about it. "Pritt Stick. Yeah, that's Murray," said one insider. "Great on paper but shit on every other surface."
Following his ignominious exit to Rafael Nadal in the French Open semis Murray was said to look completely distraught. "We're glad to see that he's cheered up a bit," Twittered an RBS employee.
Murray blamed the cold, windy conditions on his exit, stating it affected his game. This invited an avalanch of reprisal comments, most succinctly encapsulated by Twitter correspondant @SeppTwatter.
"You learned how to play tennis in fucking Scotland, Andy; cold and wind should be your speciality."
Murray indicated that, should he fail again abysmally at Wimbledon this year, he'll simply go back to making mints.