Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Red-Headed Devil retires and Liverpool rejoice!
Paul will be and was sorely missed, ask Capello!

A sad day in all of Manchester, the "Red-Headed Devil" Pauls Scholes, has retired, hung up his boots and his mischief.

One of the greatest players ever to grace the turf of the Theatre of Dreams, Scholes'y, will be sadly missed apart from in the "blue" side of Manchester, Scouseland and certain areas of North London, mate.

He was one of the all-time greats, but did have his moments of notoriety, just like other "Red Devils" Keano, Robbo, Incey and most infamous of all Mon Dieu.

After Paul announced his retirement smoke-signals (telecommunication systems have been removed from the area because Scousers nick anything not rooted to the ground including your Grandmother!) could be seen on the borders of Liverpool spreading the news that the "Old Warrior" has gone.

Tumultuous scenes were reported outside of Anfield and the main message was, "yet another one bites the dust" because United's much hated school of 92 is nearly extinct, apart from Giggsy who is keeping himself fit doing outside activities?

Paul Scholes is an utter gentleman, hates publicity, never has been involved in scandals and was a true professional. Man United's main rivals, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal will be glad to see the back of him, but deep down they all know that Scholes'y was one of the all-time greats!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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