Written by Steddyeddy
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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Sepp Blatter faces long, hard election to FIFA
The huge crowds attending the main FIFA election rally

Sepp Blatter, chief gropenfuhrer of football association FIFA, faced an uphill struggle in the presidential election for the organisation.

With a huge field of candidates of just himself for the post, including current incumbent Said Bladder, and the elections using the recently rejected-by-the-UK AV (Alternative Vote) system, it looks to be a very tightly fought contest indeed.

The main candidate, Said Bladder, will be running against no one else, but at a press conference this morning, he said that he couldn't afford to be complacent, although with all the FIFA bungs and financial incentives of late, he said he could afford a new house, car and surround-sound home cinematic system, together with a 6-week holiday in a five-star hotel in Doha, a city, which he stresses, is only by sheer coincidence the capital of Quatar.

He went on to say that the immense field of no other candidates could pose a problem for him if there is tactical voting in the election. He said that under the AV system adopted by FIFA, he felt it might prove difficult to achieve 50% of the vote against all the no other candidates for the post.

Although he remained confident about being elected for yet another term, he said he expected a fraught wait during the count to see if he reached the magical 50%, and that he would "take it like a man" - especially if it was a reasonable six-figure back-hander - should no one else be elected against him in what he agreed would be a hard-fought election against no one else.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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