Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Thursday, 26 May 2011

image for Tevez claims Messi is shorter than Maradona.
A little Argentinian .

Below average height Carlos Tevez (5ft8") has today claimed in a national newspaper that Lionel Messi (3ft7") is even shorter than Diego Maradona (5ft5").

The Manchester Argie has also claimed that tiny midget Messi could well be the shortest footballer of all time.

Another short arse, Osvaldo Ardiles (5ft6") has been 'larging it up', claiming that the shorter the player is, the more chance he has of being the best footballer in the world.

The Argentinians do seem to be blessed in the vertically challenged department but suspicions that they are serial cheats persist.

Rumours are circulating on Twitter that Messi, in particular, has the ability to make himself seem smaller than he actually is.

Maradona has also pointed his little finger at the Barcelona Tom 'Thumb', claiming that Messi may well have taken short enhancing drugs.

Little Lionel's diet of minute steaks and petit pois is being looked into.

The fibbing dago Diego Maradona is himself no stranger to underhand of God tactics.

'Doctors' in Buenos Aires removed his neck and stuck a lump of his head back onto his torso.

This lost him 4 inches and helped him defeat England in the World Cup.

The long and the short of it is that the Argies are probably lying.

Again!

Tests carried out by the Football Association on Sean Wright Phillips (5ft5") and Aaron Lennon (5ft5") have confirmed this.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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