Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

image for Barcelona Accused Of Planking - Derided As A Bunch Of Plankers
Upside Down Planking Done Safely.

A misleading sports writer today accused the Barcelona football team of regularly 'planking.'

Planking is the latest stupid internet craze, which involves a whole lot of stupid people lying face down in bizarre locations, then posting the pictures on the internet.

Many sports analysts have reviewed footage of various La Liga games this season, and most agree that Barcelona are the biggest bunch of plankers in the world.

Statistics reveal that star striker, Lionel Messi, adopts the planking position approximately ten times in each and every fixture - once every nine minutes - whether anybody has been near him or not.

On most planking exercises, the planker appears to win a free kick.

Xavi and Iniesta have also been 'outed' as prolific plankers.

Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho welcomed the statistics with a philosophical shrug, and stated that it merely bears out what he's been saying all season.

Statistics reveal that the Barcelona squad should be wary of how much planking they do in the Champions League Final at Wembley, on the grounds that excessive planking can be dangerous. In recent days reports have increased regarding silly plankers who have expired as a result of falling off high rise balconies, or bridge guard rails.

Experts opined that the best way for young male plankers to indulge their passion is to do it on the safety of a nice double bed.

Preferably with a willing young lady underneath.

The Barcelona squad are reported to be taking the report 'very seriously indeed.'

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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