Written by dingham
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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

image for Wenger issues warning to Premiership rivals with massive war chest
Money is an issue!

Word on the street from north London is that Arsenal are poised to spend big this summer after a poor finish in the title race.

Rumours have escalated from within the club that due to the takeover by American sports tycoon Stan Kroneke Arsene Wenger has a massive war chest!

This news has been a met with much relief from Arsenal fans with one saying, "If this is true that Arsene has a war chest, he has no excuse but to use it to bring in experienced quality, because this team is about as useful as a one armed brick layer in Baghdad!"

When Wenger was confronted about this rumour, he replied, "how have you got this information? Only Pat Rice knows about this, I only discussed this matter with Pat whilst on the bench during the Fulham game!"

Pat Rice when questioned could only answer with ,"I do not want to discuss this sort of topic as this something close to Arsene's heart!"

One man who could shed some light on the subject is the Arsenal Chief Executive Ivan Gazidis, he replied confusingly, "Have you seen the debt our club is in? Not sure what you are on about? Where do you think we have the money to spend?"

I replied, "BUT I've heard that Wenger had a massive war chest!"

Ivan promptly confirmed, "I shouldn't really talk about this type subject, but Wenger actually has a massive 'Wart on his chest', not a War chest, he is having burnt off next Tuesday, the club is skint!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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