Written by Erskin Quint
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011

image for Ryan Giggs Has Been Playing Away From Home
What Sort Of An Away Record Would Chelsea Have If They Had The Same Budget As Rochdale?

Salford-based winger Ryan Giggs has been playing away from home, not just recently, but for a long time, it has been revealed.

These revelations were vouchsafed to us by a source close to the team that Ryan Giggs plays for. This source - namely, a webpage called Ryan Giggs Season Details 2010/2011 - revealed the revealing revelations to us readily this evening. We didn't even have to ask, much less press for the latest hot news.

We simply clicked with our mouses on the website link on Google, and all was revealed. It couldn't have been simpler.

We are now able to reveal that Ryan Giggs, in addition to playing quite a few games at the Theatre Of Dreams - incidentally, this is not Spotland, home of Rochdale FC, who have just had rather a good season in League 1, though it might as well be.

What we mean to say is, that Rochdale, who have very little in the way of money, and subsist on very low attendances, have just finished 9th in League 1. This is probably their best-ever season. It equals their previous highest league position (9th in the equivalent division in 1969-70) but betters that because the W-D-L playing record is superior to that of the former season.

Rochdale is not that far away from Salford either, so this laudable achievement is all the more germane to our gist.

To return to our main feature, it is clearly established by our source that Ryan Giggs, as well as playing at the Theatre of Dreams, has also been playing at other football stadia, in England and elsewhere. Many - in fact, all - of these games at these other stadia can be regarded as constituting what are technically known as away games in the scientific terminology so dear to professional football. Thus we are able to establish that Ryan Giggs has been playing away from home rather a lot for rather a long time.

Not just this season either, though we don't have the figures for other seasons at hand.

So let's hear it for Rochdale FC, who have done really well on a small budget and are known as Dale. Easily confused with Dale Winton, perhaps, until you see them side by side.

Then there is no confusing them.

Also, Rochdale won more away games than they lost last season in League 1. That is more than can be said for Dale Winton, who, despite keeping the home fires burning, has always been weak away from home.

You could not call Ryan Giggs weak away from home. Not with his experience of playing away from home.

Ryan Giggs has also enjoyed playing for Wales. This is where it gets really complicated. His playing in Wales is actually a kind of playing at home, since Wales play their home games in Wales. But for Ryan, his Welsh activities could also be considered to be playing away from home.

Never mind. To return to the more edifying subject of good old Rochdale FC: perhaps Ryan Giggs will play for or manage Rochdale in the not-too distant future.

We hope that Rochdale can stay in League 1 for a jolly long time. Next season, they will be 2 divisions above the team from Stockport, which hasn't happened that much, if ever, before.

We remember when Carlisle United were in a higher division than Manchester United. Isn't football brilliant, eh?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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